This is me. Jay. Jessica. Nobody more and nobody less. And this is my life. House. Family. Friend here and there. No boyfriend. Wiriting. Reading. Things I like to do. And who I am is who I am. And who I've become is less than what I've always dreamt I would be. Decisions are harder to make. Life doesn't always look up. But I need to learn how to make it what I want it to be. I need to learn how to take control and not listen to the voices around me. If I have a dream, I need to go get it. I shouldn't let anybody hold me back. Tell me what I don't need to hear.

Unfortunately, that's what I HAVE done.

"Thomas Jefferson knew what he was doing when he put 'happiness' and the pursuit of it in the Declaration."~~Will Smith

This is true. Because happiness truly is a pursuit. A constant race and struggle to acheive. Everybody has a story; a peice of their life they like to remember, forget, or label. Maybe even like to forget to remember.

"You have a dream, you go get it."~~Will Smith

This is also true. Dreams you have to stick to. You can't let anybody dictate your dreams. You have to hold onto something. Have to have something to look foreward to. Need a little peice of something to *give* you peace of mind.

"This part of my life...this part here....is called __..."~~Will Smith

Everybody has a part of their life they label. Whether it's good or bad, it's past. And pasts stay. Everybody has something to be proud of. Something to go foreward with. Something to share and know. Everybody has a story.

"How did he know? How did he know that happiness was going to be something that would never be truly gained?"~~Will Smith

How DID he know? Because with my emotional breakdown just last night got me thinking so hard about what I wanted. How could true happiness be achieved if I never let myself reach for it? How could I get what I wanted out of my own life and frame of mind? My breakdown taught me a lesson. It shaped me for the next day (as well as gave he a headache...lol) and it made me think twice about hiding feelings that need to be let out.

Happiness truly is a pursuit. And unless you don't try for it...you never truly really will get a hold of it.